Jesse was the boy who cried wolf when it came to proclaiming he’d never drink again.
He startled himself awake when his long leg snagged on the leg of the table and an empty beer bottle clanked onto the ceramic floor tile. Jesse jumped up from under the table and bonked his head onto the underside of the tabletop immediately. The bottles on top of the table rattled against each other, some rolling off the surface altogether. He carefully crawled out from under the table, and immediately felt like he ran a marathon and then some. Tour season didn’t even feel like this.
He crawled over to Shintaro, sprawled on the couch in nothing but his briefs.
“Hey. Wake up.” Jesse lightly patted his face, and his face scrunched before he opened his eyes.
“Jesse?” Shintaro rolled to the other side, facing towards the inside of the couch he slept on.
“Wake up. Look at this!” Jesse’s voice grew concerned as he took in their surroundings.
Shintaro turned back out and finally sat up, “What the hell…where are we?” He yawned, scratching his head.
“Come on, get dressed.” Jesse tried to keep his cool while his head raced at 200 miles an hour trying to piece together anything he could – which was nothing. There were plastic reindeers sitting by the windowsill, a pinata that hung off the chandelier, and a wide assortment of empty cans scattered across the floor. He found Juri asleep next to Santa’s sleigh and Kochi right beside him, neither of them having fared any better than he or Shintaro.
The only one asleep on a bed was Taiga, but thankfully so because he had been fully nude under the covers. While Jesse had been on a scavenger hunt waking up the group, a scream came from the bathroom across the hall of the penthouse suite and he scrambled over to find Juri slamming the bathroom door shut behind him, his pants still in his hand as opposed to around his waist.
“What?!” Jesse shouted as he flew over the couch to the bathroom.
Then Kochi arrived, “Wow, I really didn’t need to see that.” He turned away at the sight of little Juri peeking through.
“Bro. Put your pants on.” Shintaro agreed.
Taiga was the last to arrive, completely oblivious to the fact that Juri just ran out of the bathroom with his pants barely pulled up. He tried to push past him to use the bathroom, but Juri only gripped onto the doorknob harder and gave Taiga a hard glare.
“You don’t want to go in there. Trust me.”
Taiga finally glanced down, saw Juri’s panicked mid-pee aftermath, but wasn’t the least bit fazed.
“Come on. Stop messing around.”
He insisted on pushing Juri out of the way, and everyone else was simply confused about what was on the other side of the door. Taiga twisted the knob and barely cracked the door open when something came swatting at the door. He pulled it shut instantly, and they all stood frozen at the sound of scratching claws from the other side.
“What’s in there?”
Juri cleared his throat, “Um. I think a monkey…but I, uh. I’m not sure.”
Before they could decipher the monkey mystery, Kochi began a mental tally and counted only five people.
“Where’s Hokuto?”
“Someone go wake Hokuto up.” Juri added, finally having enough of his mind gathered to pull his pants up.
Shintaro scurried to look for Hokuto while Jesse gathered everyone around the large table with the bottles.
Kochi looked down at the empty bottles and posed the first obvious question, “Where are we?”
There was a collective silence until Taiga asked if anyone had their phones on them, which turned out to be negative. It became increasingly clear that nobody remembered a thing, but as they got dressed luckily Jesse’s phone did surface.
Unluckily, Shintaro came with a bigger problem.
“Guys, I can’t find Hokuto. He’s not in any of the rooms.”
*
*
*
14 hours prior…
As a group, the boys never had much of a Christmas tradition, but when Shintaro suggested a Christmas dinner at his place after work on Christmas Eve everyone agreed. Only Hokuto resisted with several excuses, but none would work when Shintaro already prepared for that ahead of time. He brought out the big guns for the convincing, and by big guns, Shintaro meant Jesse. Because Hokuto could never say no to Jesse.
Kochi showed up first to Shintaro’s house, tightly followed by Taiga, and then they promptly got into a bicker about who arrived earlier. Juri and Jesse arrived at the same time because Juri had to pick him up, a decision he immediately regretted when Jesse played nothing but Christmas music all the way there. It was not like Hokuto to flake, but he was evidently last to arrive.
Between juggling dishes in the kitchen, Shintaro shouted for his guests to figure out Hokuto’s ETA.
“Taiga should call.” Jesse suggested first, and both Kochi and Juri looked at him weirdly.
Jesse continued, “You ever realize he never lies to Taiga?” As if he discovered something groundbreaking.
“Why would he lie at all?”
Jesse shrugged. His logic didn’t hold up, but to get it over with, Taiga called anyway with his phone on speaker for all to hear.
“Hokuto?” Juri said first after he picked up.
“Yeah?” The background was noisy, and they were relieved because at least that meant Hokuto wasn’t already tucked into bed and ready to make an excuse to not come.
“Where are you?” Jesse asked next, and after some shuffling from Hokuto’s end, he replied that he was just picking up some stuff from the store before heading to Shintaro’s.
“What stuff?” Kochi asked, purely out of curiosity.
“Cold medicine. Feeling a little sick.” Juri and Kochi looked at each other. Sounded like he was preparing for an excuse to leave early.
Oblivious to all of that, Jesse, who since left the call to keep Shintaro company, yelled from the kitchen for Hokuto to buy some hangover pills from the store while he was there.
Hokuto set all of his belongings down on the countertop as he reached the front of the line. A coin escaped his wallet as he opened it. As he bent down to chase after it, a stranger set down a pack of cigarettes and an identical set of hangover pills on the counter beside him. Hokuto paid for his purchase and pushed all of the items on the countertop into his plastic bag.
When he reached the door, he realized he had two sets of the same pills.
Hokuto apologized and returned one.
Not the one he originally picked out and paid for. But the same pack everyone but Hokuto takes.
*
*
*
“How is it even possible that we don’t remember anything?” Kochi ran his hand through his hair for the fifth time within ten minutes and by the looks of it, he was going to rip it out soon.
“Okay, okay. We have Jesse’s phone right?” Juri leaned in and tried to begin piecing together at least somewhere to begin. After brunch they needed a game plan.
“It’s useless.” Jesse slid the phone across the table and the screen lit up. Locked for 5 hours for incorrect passcode.
Shintaro, who somehow still had an appetite despite their situation, set down his hashbrown and orange juice and pitched an idea, “On the account that nobody has a working phone, let’s go to my place. I’ll grab my iPad and at least we can communicate with the outside world while we find out how we lost Hokuto.”
“That sounds stupid, but we have no better idea right now.” Taiga weighed in, popping a cherry tomato in his mouth.
“The first part was unnecessary, but thank you, Kyomo.” He tossed the last bit of scrambled eggs in his mouth.
Everyone figured that going to Shintaro’s house was the only way they’d find clues because that’s the only place everyone could agree on being at. Searching for hints at the place was how it finally dawned on them to search their literal selves for clues.
Jesse found a hospital bracelet.
Juri found a valet receipt for Shibuya.
Taiga found a belly button piercing on himself.
Shintaro found an autograph on his left butt cheek. That took unorthodox methods of discovery after Taiga’s new belly button piercing.
Suddenly, they had too many places to start searching and Kochi was only relieved he didn’t find anything weird on himself.
They called a cab and headed to the hospital first, after having retrieved Shintaro’s iPad then calling their manager in the cab. They were hesitant to disclose the full extent of their discoveries (and more importantly, what they have yet to figure out – including Hokuto’s disappearance) but they allowed the only good liar to talk, so for now they were safe.
Juri hung up the call as Shintaro returned from the store with caps and masks for everyone.
“Hopefully wearing identical black ball caps won’t look crazy…” Shintaro muttered as he passed them out to everyone.
“About that…”
Everyone turned towards Juri, who turned the iPad facing the remainder of the group.
“Apparently we held a guerrilla live at the club last night…”
Everyone leaned into the video. The footage was shaky, but not lacking in definition.
“Well, that is for sure us…”
“Guys.”
“At least the crowd likes it.”
“Guys.”
“We’ve always wanted to do this, right?”
“Guys!” Shintaro finally yelled, “You are all missing the point.”
He snatched the iPad back from Juri, “Look, Hokuto was still there…at 4 a.m.”
*
*
*
Although finding out Hokuto was still with them and alive at 4 a.m. was helpful, they still needed to find out why Jesse was at the hospital.
Fortunately, they did not find one Matsumura Hokuto admitted into the hospital. Unfortunately, the nurses gathered in a corner and eyed all five of them suspiciously as they asked to speak to the doctor.
“Like I said, there isn’t really much I can help you with.” They followed the doctor as he was being ushered out of the room to see his next patient.
“At least review the charts with me.” Jesse insisted, trying hard to prove that portraying a doctor on the big screen gave him credibility in all of this.
The doctor sighed, and he finally conceded, pulling them aside.
“If you really must know, you were bitten by a monkey.” He whispered, “Your words. Not mine.”
Taiga’s eyes widened. The monkey in their bathroom.
“Then I prescribed some cream, told you it would be fine, and sent you on your way.”
“That’s it?”
“Well, not quite.”
The doctor hesitated, “You started crying about how the monkey didn’t like you…And that was when I had to see my next patient. That’s all. That’s all I know.”
Jesse sat there, silent and everyone thought he was mildly embarrassed.
“Thank you, doctor.” Kochi finally chimed in as the doctor excused himself.
“Well. That was not helpful.”
“Tell that to the monkey.” Jesse added bitterly.
“Monkeys can’t–nevermind.” Kochi muttered, but was disregarded.
“Anyways it looks like we were here at 2:30 anyways.” Taiga picked up the clipboard and began to flip through it, “Hokuto would’ve still been with us then, so that’s not helpful.”
Everyone nodded, but Jesse obviously still looked dejected from the monkey bite.
“Why do you think he bit me?”
“Because you looked delectable–I don’t fucking know.” Only Kochi replied, but clearly Jesse was not satisfied with his answer.
Even though it seemed Jesse took personal offense to the monkey bite, everyone else had already moved onto their next lead.
Juri’s valet ticket.
*
*
*
The group stood outside the upscale building, idling and trying their best to stay quiet and blend in while they waited for their vehicle. Shintaro nudged Juri when the car finally pulled up, and everyone only gave each other silent glares.
A small mini-van pulled up and Juri received the keys from the valet. Everyone piled in and Juri pulled away, but finally Shintaro addressed the elephant in the van.
“Juri?”
“Yeah?”
“This isn’t your van.” He hesitated, but was nearly positive, “…right?”
“Nope!” Juri nearly screamed. He was losing his mind. What was happening? Who the hell’s car was he driving? How could this possibly get worse?
He looked through the rear mirror and saw Shintaro sitting at an odd angle in the seat.
“Why are you sitting like that?” Juri narrowed his eyes watching Shintaro squirm.
But Shintaro only maintained his position, “What? What are you talking about?”
“That weird tilted sit you’re doing.”
Juri insisted and Kochi finally turned around to look, “Are you still drunk?”
“What if the autograph gets smudged? I sweat when I get nervous…”
“Nervous about what?”
“Oh. Uh. I don’t know, maybe the fact that we’re riding in a stolen car?!”
“Borrowed!” Kochi and Juri yelled in unison and Kochi finally gave up and turned back around.
He popped open the glove box and began to search. He found the scrap of a registration that had no viable information. Jesse suggested checking the van’s built-in GPS if they used it and even though they hadn’t, there was an address registered as “Home”.
“What if we go there and they report us for stealing their van?” Taiga piped up after dozing away for the first ten minutes of the car ride.
“We didn’t steal anything, okay?” Juri continued driving, “This has to be a mistake.” He was one outburst away from having to do breathing exercises.
“You think the valet gave us the wrong car?” Jesse asked.
“Nope, I asked.” Shintaro replied, opening a bag of chips that he found under his seat. He handed it to Taiga, who happily snacked on it while looking out the window. Everyone’s deliberations came to a screeching halt when Taiga watched the nearby houses get increasingly familiar.
“Guys. Wait.” He shot up from his seat and everyone besides Juri stared at him.
“Is it telling you to make a left at the next light?”
“Yeah…”
“Then a right?”
Kochi checked the navigation, “How’d you know?”
Taiga sat back down, a sigh of relief, “Oh thank fucking god. It’s my parents’ house.”
“Why are you acting so relieved?”
“I was stressed out.”
“Stressed? You were munching on chips just a second ago.”
“Stress-eating chips!”
Juri pulls the van into the driveway and Taiga climbs out of the van to punch in the gate code. They pull into the garage, where there are at least 3 other vehicles.
“So that’s what a castle looks like, huh?” Kochi remarked sarcastically and he caught Jesse giggling at his remark.
“You wouldn’t get it.” Taiga shot back, opening the front door to let everyone in.
Even though the car belonged to Kyomoto Masaki, Taiga figured it also didn’t hurt to check security footage, considering their house was tapped like the royal family lived there.
The five of them huddled around the computer screen.
Taiga rewinded the tape until midnight, when a black limo pulled up to the house. He counted as all six of them stumbled out of the car. Jesse and Shintaro tried to scale the fence, but as they reach the top, Taiga punches in the code and it moves with them still riding on top of it. The pair start screaming, but eventually they fall off. Everyone gets a good laugh while Jesse finally realizes why he felt like he got run over by a truck when he woke up.
The group watched themselves stumble in on footage. For some reason Juri begins sprinting, racing Shintaro down the Kyomoto family’s impossibly long driveway before they lose sight of themselves. Taiga pulled up a different angle, several minutes later, and they had all piled into the vehicle by this point. By piling in, it really meant throwing Kochi into the driver’s seat by force and then running into the car, like a reverse kidnapping.
“Great…drunk driving…” Kochi mutters.
“Oh, relax. Look. Shin is running faster than you driving.” Juri pointed out.
Feeling like a real show-off, Taiga flipped the footage back to the driveway, where they pulled out slow enough that Shintaro jumping out of the van and running foot beat the van to the end of the driveway.
“This is why I don't have a driver’s license. Can’t drive drunk.” Jesse added, which earned a glare from Kochi and he shut his mouth again.
Then, they just stop there for 15 minutes.
“Um Taiga, I think your camera is broken.” Kochi pressed the space bar several times, but Taiga only slapped his hand away.
He clicks refresh a few times, “No…This is it. We just sit here.”
After fast forwarding, it turns out they ordered a designated driver to drive them, much to Kochi’s relief. But it also meant they were once again at another dead end and everyone piled back into the van, which now they were simply going to borrow for the day as they figured out whether they had the best or worst Christmas of their lives.
“Can’t believe we lost Hokuto. On Christmas.” Shintaro sighed, hands busy searching all the crevices of the car. They couldn’t tell if he was searching for hints or another bag of chips since Taiga ate the last.
“Misplaced. We misplaced him.” Juri corrected, “He’s a grown man. He’ll be fine.”
“How many more hours left on your phone, Jesse?” Taiga asked, slouched in his seat, puffing his cheeks up and down like a child.
“2 hours.” Jesse tapped his phone screen and it lit up with the locked timer. But under the blurred notification screen was a different lock screen. Not the members. Not landscape. Not even his girlfriend.
“The monkey…” Jesse mumbled quietly, “The monkey…”
Juri turned, and Shintaro stopped feeling out every single pocket for a second to try to get what Jesse was saying.
“The monkey! OH THE MONKEY!” Jesse screamed, his hand excitedly shaking the back of the driver’s seat, much to Juri’s dismay.
His new lock screen of the monkey against the backdrop of Shibuya, clad in a Santa costume reminded him that they still had the monkey lead.
*
*
*
Before leaving the hotel, they had kindly asked to extend the hotel room for one more night. Partially because it was a mess (and they cannot afford a mess) but mostly because there was a monkey locked in their bathroom. On the car ride over, Jesse had affectionately named the monkey George. When Shintaro asked Jesse why a Japanese monkey had an English name, Jesse immediately changed George’s name to Kishi. Kochi scolded him and said it’s offensive, but Jesse only insists that it’s not related to human Kishi.
In the end, they still name the monkey George (out of respect).
“I took this from the hotel lobby.” Taiga pulls a banana out of his pants pocket as the remaining four press their ears against the door to listen for George. He hands the banana to Jesse, “Go get ‘em Monkey Whisperer.”
“First of all, sick nickname. Second of all, I’m scared George doesn’t like me.” He backed down, but he saw that Shintaro only popped up from behind his iPad.
“Please, it’ll make a funny video.” Without any phones, he resorted to recording the encounter on his iPad. And Jesse couldn’t say no to comedy. Juri had half a thought to stop Jesse from going in. A wild monkey could hurt him, but instead he only made some protective gear for Jesse out of the cardboard pizza box and sent him in anyway.
Jesse peeled back the banana and cracked the door open, slightly at first. He looked back through the holes of the pizza box face shield and the remaining four hid behind a large sofa cushion. There was no noise, so he opened the door wider. George was hanging from the shower rod, after the bathroom flooded with bubbles with one overflowed sink, several broken into hotel condiments, and a bitten bar of soap.
George lands on the countertop next to Jesse at the sight of the banana. He flashes his teeth. Jesse extends his face as far away from the banana as possible, face scrunched in fear. But George only snatched the banana and swung back to the shower. He unclenched his muscles. Shintaro held his breath from the door with his iPad, hellbent on recording all of this footage, swearing on his professionalism as an entertainer. He was a man of the Amazon. No monkey was going to scare him. From a distance. Behind the safety of Jesse as a human shield, of course.
“G-guys?”
“Yeah, Jesse?” Juri replies first, scurrying over to Shintaro’s side at the door, peeking his head in.
Jesse had taken off his “protective gear” and sat beside George who ate the banana and was quietly perched on Jesse’s shoulder. His face lit with a smile, “I think George likes me!”
“Wait, Jesse. What does the shirt say?”
Jesse looked down, “Chrome Hearts?”
“No, George.”
He looked over.
“HARAJUKU MONKEY CAFE”
“Come on, buddy. We’re going home.” Jesse scratched George’s little monkey head.
*
*
*
They found a sack tossed into one of the hotel room hampers and fished it out, repurposing it to smuggle George into the van and back to Harajuku where he was from. Jesse looked at the bag suspiciously, not because it looked eerily like Santa’s gift sack but because he was skeptical that George could breathe in it. They compromised and finally allowed him to be the one to carry the bag, completely having forgiven George for biting him just last night.
Juri drove as close as possible to the animal cafe, but the narrow Harajuku streets proved it difficult to park. He pulled into a lot and suggested the five of them walk over on foot, a red sack with white trimming in hand. Given that it was Christmas Day, maybe it would be overlooked and not overly suspicious.
Taiga spotted a shoddy looking sign from afar, but the shop entrance looked less and less enticing as they got closer. Jesse began to wonder how they even ended up here in the first place that night. More importantly, they were nowhere close to finding Hokuto.
The shop window was dark even though the sign was on, and the neon “OPEN” sign flickered relentlessly. Juri looked for any signage that indicated they were closed on Christmas Day, but when he pushed the door, it creaked open. Him and Kochi gave each other suspicious looks.
Everything about the shop said do not enter.
But with George in tow, the five of them enter anyway, huddled together tighter than usual.
“Hello?” Jesse yelled out, hoping to talk to someone who could reassure him that once the lights came on, this place wasn’t nearly as creepy.
“Hello?” Shintaro echoed, as loudly as possible, “I don’t think anyone’s here.”
“We should get out of here.” Kochi whispered, much quieter than the younger two.
Jesse’s startled scream nearly has the rest of the group jumping out of their skins, as George leapt out of his arm and crawled out of the bag. He scampers across the floor towards the back room and Jesse’s large figure disappears into the darkness chasing after George.
“Wait Jes–” Juri tried to stop Jesse from chasing, shocked by how catching George he was suddenly not scared of the dark, “I’ll go get him.” He ran after Jesse – it was like herding cats. Or monkeys.
The room is eerily silent and dark with only the buzzing of the neon sign. Shintaro began to grow restless and his eyes wandered around the room. The floor was carpeted, small cafe tables around the window and plastic dog toys littered the floor. He thought it was strange. No animal pictures on the walls. No fun printed wallpaper welcoming people in.
Who the hell would come to a place like this?
His mind wandered with his feet as he ran his fingers along the wall, coated in a disgusting layer of dust. He frowned and instinctively pulled on the drawer to find a paper towel, only to find boxes of medical supply. Gloves, syringes, bottles with English names that were way too long for anyone to read, especially him.
“Huh?” He wondered out loud, attracting Taiga and Kochi to look over his shoulders.
“Why would an animal cafe have these things?”
“Maybe it’s a vet’s office too?” Taiga entertained the possibility, but before they could come to a strong enough hypothesis, Jesse and Juri came back with concerned looks on their faces.
“Guys, guys, guys!” Jesse ran ahead, dragged Juri along by the sleeve and George in his arms.
“This place ain’t right.” Juri started, while catching his breath, “There’s cages and cages of animals back there. They all looked…malnourished.”
This time Jesse had a theory.
“It’s a long shot, but I think we passed this place last night and ran into George who broke himself out. That’s why the front door was unlocked. He was trying to send a message.”
“Jesse, this isn’t Planet of the Apes. Even though, excellent film.” Juri tried to be a voice of reason, but Shintaro agreed.
“No, because look at this.” He pulled out the supply drawer, “They’re doing something here. We have to call someone.”
“Back to the car first, come on. Come on. ” It took Kochi to usher everyone along, because one more minute in this unsanitary room was one more minute of scrubbing he’d have to do once he got home.
In the end, the police came. Animal services came. The place was taped off, not by the police but by the animal services. George was taken into custody. Jesse said he deserved a higher honor for being a hero to his fellow animals, but once again Juri reminded him that this was not Planet of the Apes.
The day had well passed by this point with the winter sunsets due extra early. They finally stopped to get a drink of water and some food, even though they were nowhere near closer to finding Hokuto. They sat in silence for once at the ramen shop and the dividers were kept down at Ichiran as they agreed to spend time thinking really hard about where Hokuto could be. It wasn’t until some food that Jesse realized his phone was finally unlocked.
At last – maybe – some answers.
They huddled around Jesse’s phone back in the van, anticipation greater than any award they were ever up for. Taiga raised an eyebrow at the lockscreen choice. Evidently, they were in Shibuya at some point the night before.
Jesse checked his LINE. Several messages was an understatement. Juri’s eyes almost popped out at Jesse’s message inbox. He had nearly 300 unread messages just in the five hours it had been locked, and most of them were ongoing conversations too. His heart palpitated just thinking about the idea of entertaining that many conversations.
There was one that stood out to Jesse, and he clicked into it.
“Oh, oh, here it is.” His intuition proved correct.
“Christmas Party in Shibuya. Come through. Many A-listers. Hollywood included.” Jesse read out loud.
“That has to be where we went, right?” Shintaro speculated, before nudging Jesse to check his camera roll.
It turns out there were several pictures and videos taken that night, not only as he and Shintaro fell off the fence but again in the van ride over to Shibuya. Jesse had been drunk before, and nothing added up to this type of craziness that they had. He almost wondered if something enhanced the alcohol they had the night before, but the only thing they had were the hangover pills that Hokuto brought.
By this point, the group had returned to the original crime scene once again – Shintaro’s apartment. With considerable effort, they dug out the half digested pack of pills from under all the other trash. Jesse took one look and knew it looked wrong. Why hadn’t he clocked it the night before?
“The pills I take – are never pink.” He held up the capsule between his fingers, “This brand doesn’t make pink pills. There’s no way.” He was adamant, and everyone believed him considering how often he stayed out late drinking but showed up early to work the next day like nothing happened.
Taiga asked the obvious question, with a not so obvious answer, “Hokuto bought these? He drugged us?”
“Where did he get counterfeits?”
“Oh god.” Juri scrubbed his hand down his face, “I’ve heard of girls getting roofied, but us? What if it was a crazy stalker fan? Jesus Christ…”
“Go back to the videos. Is there anyone who is in all of them?” Shintaro asked, sitting down next to Jesse. One by one, they slowly comb through the camera roll like some kind of secondhand embarrassment psychological torture.
“Where did we get selfie sticks from?” Jesse wondered out loud, but his question was immediately answered by the next video.
“We took these from tourists?! In Shibuya….?!” Juri exclaimed.
“We stole from tourists?!” Taiga repeated, slightly differently. Slightly louder.
“We did what?!” Kochi was about to lose his mind after this dumpster fire of a day.
“Shh. We don’t know that.” Jesse calmly said, but the footage clearly showed him speaking to American tourists in Shibuya and they gifted Jesse the selfie stick because Jesse claimed he was from Las Vegas.
Somehow, they too, were from Las Vegas. Juri suspects they’re lying, but he has no proof.
It wasn’t long before the mystery around the belly button piercing unraveled, with Taiga smiling belly out at the camera. He buried his face in his hands, wanting to dig a hole, jump into it, and maybe swallow the belly button ring and hope it chokes him to death.
Now they were just missing Hokuto. And the reason why Shintaro had an asscheek autograph.
Juri hoped he was driving to Shibuya for the final time that day – or possibly forever – given the shit he probably did here, he’d never have the balls to show his face again. On the car ride over, the group hypothesized that the public likely left them alone thinking they were filming some kind of variety show challenge, which made everyone feel a bit better about everything.
They pulled up to the curb and awkwardly greeted the same valet again, but this time they gained entrance into the fancy condo complex. They huddled together in the elevator facing each other, silently ready to greet the impending doom. If Hokuto wasn’t here, they truly were not sure where he would be. Their stomachs churned as they reached the 60th floor and it opened directly into the unit. Jesse found a housekeeper who brought over the party host.
“Oh, welcome back you guys! So much fun last night, huh?!” The host gave Jesse a half hug and tried to hug everyone else, but their confused expressions said everything to the socialite.
“You’ll have to forgive us…we don’t remember anything.” Kochi finally spoke up and confessed, apologetic to the party host.
He laughed, a mysterious chuckle, “Oh no wonder…I knew you were all high on something.”
“High?” Taiga didn’t like the sound of that word.
“Actually, I think we were roofied.” Juri added, but an experienced party host would know better.
“Silly, roofie doesn’t make you act out.” He raised a brow, as if he had an inside joke, “It’s whatever else that roofie was laced with…” He paused, then exclaimed, “fun and you don’t remember!”
His excitement was met with much less enthusiasm by the five men, exhausted by their journey.
“Oh by the way, do you remember our member, Matsumura Hokuto, being with us?”
“Oh sure he was.” The man smiled, “Delightful, might I add.” He winked, and Kochi got the creeps. What did that mean?
“He left with us?” Shintaro inquired, hoping to finally make some headway on Hokuto’s whereabouts.
“Yes, unfortunately you—” He interrupted himself, “Oh, I almost forgot.”
He gestured for the housekeeper to bring over a bag, “Here are your phones and some party favors you all forgot.” He winked at Jesse, and Jesse smiled back awkwardly.
Everyone gathered around the bag, relieved that their phones were not lost.
“Relax, it was a closed party. No phones allowed. That’s the only reason I have them.”
They sighed a collective breath of relief even though they didn’t quite gain the intel they wished. Right as the elevator door began to close, Shintaro held the door open because he had forgotten something.
He jogged out, Taiga held the door open and they watched as Shintaro pulled down a corner of his pants. The socialite studied his buttcheek before Shintaro beamed with a smile and jogged back into the elevator. They waved the man goodbye, and Shintaro stood there grinning from ear to ear. He nearly jittered with excitement, but no one said a thing.
“Oh come on! Nobody’s going to ask?”
Jesse laughed, “Who signed your ass?”
Shintaro giggled. Then again. The elevator door slid open.
“J…Justin.”
“Who?”
“Justin Bieber.”
*
*
*
The sun had entirely set by the time they were all in that damn car again. Juri buried his head in his arms on the steering wheel and everyone combed through their phones with alarmingly zero leads on Hokuto. They had Hokuto’s phone. But where was the man?
“I think it’s time to call it.” Taiga finally spoke up, “We’ve got filming in two hours. And the manager will come pick us up in thirty. Might be better if he doesn’t find out when he gets here.”
Jesse sat up, “I’ll call.” He bit his lip, eyes locked on the back of the driver seat, “I’ll call. I got us in this mess. I need to own up to it.”
“Come on, Jes…Don’t do that.” Shintaro chimed in. He sighed, “Party was my idea…”
But Jesse already had his phone out, thumbing over the call button, nervous to break the news that somehow Hokuto was missing after all this chaos from the night before. He wasn’t sure how to disclose the fact that they were possibly roofied, drugged – was high at a party – but also potentially rescued dozens of animals from an illegal testing site.
Kochi climbed into the backseat to offer moral support to Jesse, the dial tone holding more suspense than when he called about forming SixTONES. As soon as the line patched through, the manager asked Jesse if they were going to be ready in thirty.
Jesse looked down nervously, his palms sweaty, “Yeah…about that…”
Taiga had resigned to bearing witness to the greatest catastrophe of their professional careers yet. He was already imagining the Tabloid articles to be written about their wild night – that impressively enough – was very well-documented. He closed his eyes and exhaled until he felt a vibration. He thought maybe his stomach growled. Then it vibrates again in growing intensity.
His phone was ringing.
He picked up, wary at the unknown number.
“Hello?” He whispered, trying to not interrupt Jesse’s call.
“Kyomoto?”
“HOKUTO?!” Taiga nearly shouted. Jesse covered his phone, head whipping, eyes widened. Everyone else immediately leaned into Taiga’s call.
Shintaro waved, gesturing to Jesse to make an excuse and hang up.
Jesse’s eyes darted for a moment, before stumbling through an excuse, “Um, I mean – we’ll see you in 30. Can’t wait! Love you! Merry Christmas!”
Kochi gave him a quick look that said “what was that” and Jesse shrugged as they all listened in on Taiga’s call.
“Where the hell are you?” Taiga put the phone on speaker after Jesse hung up.
“What?” Hokuto replied, confused by the question, “I’m on set? Filming? Remember?”
“No??????!!!!” They all collectively shouted in one breath.
“I went over last night? We went to that stupid party. I made out with this insanely hot guy. Did a bunch of crazy shit. Like steal Kyomoto’s van…” Hokuto recounted the night with an accuracy that made them look like idiots, “I don’t remember everything. Damn all that liquor…I should’ve known my tolerance was ass.”
“How do you remember any of this?” Shintaro exclaimed.
“You don’t!?”
“None of us do!” He shouted back, and finally Juri explained how they had been so worried about losing him all day because they genuinely couldn’t remember a thing from the night before.
“Aw, you were worried about me?”
“We spent all fucking Christmas day looking for you.”
“A call in the morning would’ve been real fucking nice.”
Hokuto apologized again, explaining again the policy of a closed set and how he was on a plane before that with no phone.
Eventually, they piece together that Hokuto left as soon as they all got to the hotel. He went straight to work, after taking a nap in the car ride to the set.
“Wait, Hokuto.” Jesse finally thought to ask about the pills, “Where did you buy those pills last night…They fucked us up bad.”
“The pills…” Hokuto tried his best to recall and couldn’t figure out anything special. He pulled them straight off of the shelf at the store, got in line, and paid for them with everything else.
Then it clicked to him.
When he left the store, he had two packs. He put one back.
Hokuto’s stomach sank when he realized he must have grabbed the wrong one.
“Yeah about that…” But then just as quickly he realized they didn’t need to know the truth, “How about some Christmas gifts? I’ll be there in 20 minutes.”
“See you soon.”
Jesse sighed a deep breath of relief. They were only good as six – no more, no less. Thank God they got Hokuto back.
Jesse swore he’d never drink again.
*
*
*
In the dressing room later that night, Jesse found a packet of polaroid pictures he’d received from the party host earlier that day when they stopped by. The six of them made a pact to never let anyone else even know about the existence of these as they huddled around after locking the door…
Santa Jesse with Christmas Tree Juri…
Santa Jesse humping a plastic reindeer…
Christmas Tree Juri peeing on an actual tree…
Shintaro displaying his asscheek autograph…
Taiga getting a belly button piercing…
Kochi getting crowd surfed at the party…
Hokuto on his knees in the corner with a very tall white man (Not Jesse)...
Santa Jesse raking empty bottles into his Santa Sack to haul behind his back…
Christmas Tree Juri taking a shot out of a woman’s belly button…
A group picture with all six of them,
Jesse’s arm is wrapped around everyone in the center as they laugh about something.
Merry Christmas.